


The roads not taken

by sophiaiswisdom



Category: Mansfield Park - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiaiswisdom/pseuds/sophiaiswisdom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winter is a time for introspection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The roads not taken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [virginie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/virginie/gifts).



> Many, many thank you's to my lovely beta and savior, Stacey.

Part 1

The snow was not white anymore but instead piled up at the sides of the road in a dirty shade of gray. London in a winter afternoon was wet and cold and Fanny walked carefully, steadying herself on her husband’s elbow, as she exited the small ribbon shop, thinking that maybe she and Edmund should return to their comfortable lodgings for the afternoon and continue running the remainder of their errands in the morrow. She was elated that she was at last able to provide some comfort to her poor siblings especially now that the day of Christmas was upon them, but was also averse to having a cold. That would certainly not be helpful to anyone!

Lost as she was to her thoughts, Funny was startled when she heard her husband’s voice in a loud whisper exclaiming “The scoundrel!” as Edmund, her dear Edmund, was a mild man, not likely to become agitated without reason. She lifted her eyes, and cast a glance towards the man Edmund seemed to look at. She saw Mr. Crawford, his profile and then his back as he was walking away from them, on the other side of the street. He did not seem to have noticed or heard them and for that she was pleased. She would rather they avoided uncomfortable encounters. Her husband was in no condition to confront this man.

As for herself, that was a different situation. Sometimes Fanny wished she had a last talk with Mr. Crawford before their paths in life had to be separated. She would have told him that he still had time to find that glimpse of happiness he was looking when he proposed to her. She did not consider him quite as the villain everyone else in her family (and herself not long ago, she had to admit!) thought he was. Funny, being married now for six months, was always a being of self inspection and her marriage could not have changed that. So after the first period of complete bliss following her wedding, she started thinking about all the events that resulted to her current situation. And to her surprise, she realised she could understand Mr. Crawford better now that she had experienced of the utmost intimacy between a man and a woman. He was morally misguided; her conscience could not overlook that. However, by courting her he had shown that he could recognise true intimacy. Fanny did not consider herself vain when she regarded herself a better person than cousin Maria. That Mr. Crawford had recognized that indicated there was something inside him that aspired for something more than the idle life he lived until then. He reversed, though, to old habits when he encountered the first roadblock. She could not entirely forgive that. Sometimes she wondered what could have been if she had accepted him. She wondered, but then she remembered Maria. However, maybe that empty action with Maria would be the final instrument that would make him realise what he could have, the fulfillment he could find in an equal, loving union, and find happiness at last. She sighed. She sincerely hoped so.

She wrapped her hand more firmly around her husband’s arm and stirred him towards the small square around the corner. She smiled up at him and saw that, as always, her smile managed to make him beam too.

  
Part 2

Henry Crawford entered the well lit corridor of her sister’s house. He hesitated. He knew that he would find her sitting in her favorite spot by the fireplace and she would lift her face and smile to him when he would enter. He tried to pretend in his thoughts that he did not know whether he would tell her about seeing the Bertrams today but he knew that he would. There was no one else he could talk about this. If he were completely honest with himself, he wanted to observe her reaction to hearing Edmund Bertram’s name, especially so close to her wedding. He had felt a sharp stab of pain when he had seen Fanny across the street, which completely took him by susrprise. Was he still…? No! He could not be! How would his sister react?

Henry Crawford rather liked his future brother-in-law. A good-looking man, robust, rather short, certainly shorter than his sister, and very rich. His sister would not have married a less deserving man. However, he knew that she did not love him. Her heart had not still recovered from Edmund’s rejection. He wondered if it ever would.

“My dear Henry,” she said, “what a pleasure to see you here this afternoon.” She motioned for his usual to be fetched and sat down again.

He stood beside her and let himself be warmed by the sizzling fire.

“I saw Edmund and Fanny Bertram today,” he uttered with no preemptive.

He watched her demeanour change and become statue-like. Her usual liveliness gone. He felt a deep satisfaction, which he knew was wrong. At least he was not alone in discontent.

Ah, but his sister was too much like him in allowing pain to overcome her for long. Her appearance transformed once again to one of tranquility, her manner became genteel and composed. “Ah, it has been a long time since we have heard of them, has it not? Where did you see them?” she asked and no one would have known that they talked about someone more than a distant acquaintance.

He did not answer, his purpose done. He could have not, at any rate, since the lovely Miss Ellis arrived along with her brother, his future brother-in-law’s particular friend. He rather liked Miss Ellis. Her likeness to one Fanny Price in person and manner did not go unnoticed.

If once or twice during the evening he found himself wondering what could have been, he ignored it.

  
Part 3

Little Sally, the maid, was gently brushing Mary’s hair, and as was her usual habit she let herself be lost in her thoughts, the repetitive movement managing to rest her. Why was she always thinking Sally as little, she wondered but soon her thoughts drifted to the subject she knew had not left her mind since her brother came to see her.

Edmund here in London! Probably for the season. She had heard about his marriage of course. She had guessed that Fanny was hopelessly in love with him but he never… No, not so hopelessly after all, was it not?

Edmund Bertram was not suited for her, now she knew. A country clergyman! However handsome and clever he was, he was not for her. He was not.

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again she focused on her face on the mirror. She dismissed little Sally. She was calm now and content. She would be Mrs. Gray in a week. She would be socialising with the most influential people; the highest circles. That was the life for her.

As she lay down to her bed, she wondered distantly what would it mean to be Edmund’s wife, but dismissed the thought quickly and blew off the candle.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear recepient, I hope this is something you enjoy. I tried to keep them all in character and still make them a little more accepting, perhaps. I liked writing it!


End file.
